The Best Things In Life Are Free

Because it’s been a LOOONG while already since I last posted an update about you, I’m now “forced” to sum up all the fun and sweet and amazing things that we’ve been having together.

Before you were out, I planned to do exclusive breastfeeding, but all that we could manage was mixed feeding (breastmilk + formula). I made it work for only 10 months, but I think that’s fine because I see that you’re a happy and smart kid. I’m satisfied. You took your first step on your 10th month, and have been walking around since then. I’m excited and scared at the same time. Who’s not to feel this way, when your baby — who used to be so tiny and fragile — now thinks that the stairs is the most interesting part of the house? I’m sure all moms would understand. You got your first haircut 2 weeks after your first bday :D You were so well-behaved on that car seat at Cuts-4-Tots!

You’re now a year and a half old, having fun playing with syllables to form words. MAMA, DADA, HAK (hug), MIK (milk), BUK (book), BAL (ball) are only some of them. You know what a flower is, butterfly, sun, apple, dog, cat, elephant, giraffe and lots of other stuff. You can dance, and mimic actions that you see on TV. For tricks, you know how to do a “bless” (mano), kiss and hug. You know where your eyes, nose, ears, neck, armpit, tummy, hair, hands, feet, teeth, and tongue are. You LOVE books! We bond every night by reading your books together — thanks to Brainy Baby and Dr. Seuss for making kids happy! (NOTE: When your child sits in your lap as you read aloud, she doesn’t just enjoy books, she also enjoys the sound of your voice, and the security of your undivided attention.) And I’m the most proud mom when you read the alphabet out loud, and the numbers 1 to 10! Excellent job, baby!

In bed, you like sleeping REALLY close to us. You put your arm around my neck which melts my heart. You kiss Daddy while he sleeps, even without me telling you to do it. You’re the sweetest baby. I’m a working mom, and nothing beats the feeling when you run to me with a HUGE smile, as soon as you see me in the doorway. The kiss and hug that go with that are the best things in life.

I look forward to this long road of motherhood ahead of me. I know that my journey has just begun.

Motherhood

I don’t know where to start. I’ve been in a roller coaster of emotions since the day she was born — pain, excitement, frustration, joy, anxiety, ecstasy. The formula of this mixture is something that only moms know about.

Our baby just turned a month old. I’m grateful for the pain of c-section recovery, for the tiring and sleepless nights, and for the discomfort of our first few breastfeeding sessions. I’m thankful for the smell of pee and poo and milky spit, for punches and kicks made by tiny fists and feet, and for the backache caused by hours of dancing around with a baby in your arms. I’m happy because without these, it would mean I haven’t been blessed with the gift of motherhood.

I’ve always wondered how it feels to have a baby peacefully sleep in your arms as you hum a lullabye, and how you’d feel when your baby looks into your eyes as you nurse her. I’ve imagined many times before how tight a baby’s grip on your finger could be, when she gets a painful vaccine and it’s only you who could make the pain go away. The thought of sleeping beside her always puts a smile on my face, just like when she stops crying as you carefully place her in a basin of warm water at bathtime. I used to think how all these would feel, but now I’m truly blessed because I know.

My Birth Story

It should’ve been just another ordinary day at my OB’s clinic — Or so I thought. As I narrated in my previous post, I was admitted 5 days ago due to contractions, but the labor did not progress so I was sent home. I was instructed to come back on March 6 for another spot-check, so I did.

Still at 2cm after a week of contractions, my OB wondered why I wasn’t progressing. What worried her more was that Margaux’s heartrate started to drop everytime a contraction comes (10-minute interval). She then decided to have me monitored at the labor room.

There were 3 of us in the labor room — 2 other moms seemed to be on their later stages of labor when I got there. The first one just had her water broken and was about to get an epidural when I got in, while the other was starting to have really bad tummy pains. I was having mild contractions — tolerable, thank God — but was STARVING! They won’t let me eat or drink, though. JM and I actually thought about getting something to eat on our way to the hospital, but I told him we can grab a bite after the check-up. Bad decision huh?

They plugged the fetal monitor and reviewed the rise and fall of Margaux’s heartrate whenever I contract. It was 430pm, and after 4 hrs of consistent drops in her heartrate, my OB decided that I should have an emergency C-Section to make sure that Margaux gets out safe. I trusted her. After all, the next day’s our wedding anniversary, and Margaux will be the best gift.

After granting my request to talk with JM for a few minutes, I was wheeled to the operating room. Tiled walls and floors really freak me out! I started to chill — not sure if it was because of the low room temp (I was practically nude underneath the hospital gown), or because I was simply scared. They strapped me into the operating table. My OB and the anaesthesiologist walked in. They started talking to each other about the position of my baby (Occiput Posterior), and her hearbeat monitoring results. After a few minutes of moving around, they’re all ready.

The anaesthesiologist told me she’s sedating me and that I should not panic when I start feeling lght and dizzy. Just a couple of seconds after that, I felt like I was really really drunk. I tried to talk — slurred speech! But even with that, I remembered JM and his camera. Haha! I told them that my husband’s in the waiting room, so my OB sent someone to get the camera from him. He’s not allowed inside.

My eyelids were really heavy but I want to see my baby. The anaesthesiologist said she’ll just wake me up when the baby’s out — but I didn’t want to sleep. I’m waiting for Margaux no matter what happens.

A couple of minutes passed and a male nursing aid came, turned me on my side, and bent my body into a fetal position to get me ready for an epidural. Because I have scoliosis, my anaesthesiologist said she’s finding the best vertebra where she can inject the epidural — or at least that’s how I understood what she said, given that I was sedated that time. I felt a pinch at my back for a few seconds, then I’m numb waist-down. She massaged my forehead, told me to start relaxing because the baby’s coming soon. I don’t know how much time passed, but it was fast. After a short moment, I heard the best music to my ears….

Baby Margaux’s cry! My OB announced that the baby got a triple cord-coil (her cord was around her neck thrice), but I’m glad she was delivered safe and sound. They placed her on my chest, and then near my face so I can kiss her. It was truly memorable.

They brought her to a table where I saw them pump and give her oxygen. I tried to see what they were doing; I wanted to make sure that she’s alright. I asked the nurse what her weight was — 6lbs 4oz. Then my eyelids went heavy and all went black. When I woke up, I was already at the recovery room, still numb and very very sleepy. The nurses told me to just rest and relax because my baby’s safe! :D It was midnight.

The next day (Sunday), when the anaesthesia wore out, I found out that I was on catheter and IV, and can barely move because of my wound. It was painful but everybody made sure that I get enough pain meds to help me recuperate. The bad part is that I don’t get to eat anything until Tuesday lunchtime! :P Water was allowed on Monday evening, though. Haha.

Margaux was born on March 6, Saturday at 9:03pm. This is when she made our family complete :)

BABY UPDATE 10: Is it time yet, Margaux?

So. I started having cramps Sunday afternoon — just mild ones which made me feel really uneasy. They come and go in 8-10 minute intervals. A day after that, I texted my OB to ask if what I was feeling was normal, and was instructed to drop by the hospital for a quick check, just to be on the safe side. When we got there, I was sent to the delivery room for an internal exam and was found to be 2cm-dilated and 50%-effaced. The contractions are still on, but only with minimal pain. The OB decided to have me admitted to see if labor would progress overnight. Ging2x’s heartbeat has been constantly monitored; She never showed any sign of distress which was good. In the meantime, I’ve been timing the contractions to see if we’re up to anything.

Monday night, Tuesday morning, and Tuesday afternoon came — still stuck at 2cm. Little blood started to come, and a pelvic bone x-ray was requested, so that the OB could see if the pelvic pathway is opening anytime soon. I found out that they can tell the maximum possible width that a woman’s pelvic bone could open by looking at a pelvic bone x-ray result. Given this, they can tell if the baby’s head would fit into the opening. My OB wanted to make sure that I’m good at that part and saw that mine was “adequate” — she’s probably thinking about getting me on the table (CS) if it’s not good enough. So far everything’s great. It’s just that Ging-Ging doesn’t feel like showing up yet. My OB doesn’t feel an induction is necessary yet, so she decided to send me home with the instruction to immediately go back to the hospital if the contractions get stronger and my bleeding gets any worse. In the meantime, we’d have to wait until Ging-Ging is ready to come. I’m due in March 11 — that’s 9 days from now. She might make her grand appearance on that day! Hmm or how about on Mommy and Daddy’s wedding anniversary on the 7th? Not a bad idea :-)

BABY UPDATE 9: We’re almost there Ging-Ging…

As of today, you’re almost 38 weeks-old. Soon (probably a week or 2 from now) you’ll be out to be with us! Holding you is something that I’ve been looking forward to for the longest time, but I’ll certainly miss the feel of your kicks, punches, hiccups, and steady heartbeat inside me. This makes me feel sad, but whenever I think of cooing, cuddling, and kisses coming from you, I can’t help but smile.

From the day you’re born, you will no longer be mine alone, and my body will no longer be your shelter. You’ll be out in the world to breathe and live on your own — and I mean no more placenta and umbilical cord! I can’t wait to witness how you’ll be, as you experience all the simple “first-times” in your life — the first time you see a flower, the first time you eat an apple, the first time you chase a cat, the first time you say “Mommy”. I want to be there when it all happens.

Your Daddy and I hope that we’ll be good enough parents for you. We’ll do our BESTest-BEST. I’ve been preparing everything that you will need, and that includes reading about Malunggay and Fenugreek! Your Daddy has been pacing back and forth while thinking about “co-sleeping” vs giving you your own sleeping space (a small night crib of some sort) to start with.

Since my 36th week, I’ve been having irregular cramps and sharp pains (sleeping at night has never been the same), but I try to be as calm as I can. They’re not real contractions yet, anyway — it’s just my body getting ready for the “D-day”. I just hope that when that day comes, I’ll still believe myself when I say, “The pain is all in the mind!”

We’re so excited to see you, our baby. We’re glad that the long wait is almost over :-)

A Letter On Valentine’s Day

It’s been almost a year since our life together started, and yes, this is our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple — but we’re neither planning an extravagant dinner date, nor checking out pricey gifts for each other at the mall. Instead, we’re busy preparing for a life with the best Valentine’s Day present we could ever have…our first-born (she’s coming less than a month from now!).

It’s funny how you once cradled an imaginary baby in your arms to practice holding Ging-Ging, and how you count every baby that we pass by, imagining that we’ll have our own soon. I always look forward to every night, when you kiss my belly to say good night to me and Ging-Ging as we lay down in bed to sleep. There are even times when she kicks you as we hug, as if to say that she doesn’t want to get pinned between mommy and daddy. We have a good laugh everytime she does that.

Thank you for getting up in the middle of the night to massage my feet when bad leg cramps wake me up. You give me the best foot massage when I needed it most. Thank you for giving up your pillows for me since I started hoarding pillows at night so I can breathe more easily. And do you even realize that you’re even more excited than I am when we visit the baby section at the mall, to check out strollers, cribs and all? Seeing your eyes glow when you feel my tummy as Ging-Ging seems to play underneath makes all my fears of being a first-time-mom go away. It’s because I feel that there’s a supportive Dad eagerly waiting for her to arrive.

For these and all the other things that you do everyday to make me feel loved and cared for, I thank you.

I was asked once which I’d prefer: an ideal husband, or the best father for my (soon-to-be) kids. I chose the latter. But then, I’m coming to realize that I’m so blessed that I seem to have both. Life hasn’t been perfect, but I would never trade what we have now for anything else.

I love you so much. Happy Valentine’s Day, Daddy.

Mommy
XOXO

BABY UPDATE 9: Fears of a first-time mom

I’m now on my 34th week, and have started feeling anxious about labor and delivery. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really looking forward to holding our baby for the first time, but the possible “excruciating” (an adjective used by mothers 99% of the time) pain of childbirth seems to get in the way of my excitement. But then again, I believe that all women are physically prepared for childbirth, so I guess I’ll just have to exert more effort on the mental preparation ;-)

There are days when I think I’m already 100% ready for this and feel proud of myself, but when I get waves of mild contractions — probably just Braxton-Hicks, but are painful at times — I’d have second thoughts.

NOTE: “Braxton-Hicks contractions”, as Wiki describes it are “a tightening of the uterine muscles for 1 to 2 minutes and is thought to be an aid to the body in its preparation for birth. They are thought to be part of the process of effacement, the thinning of the cervix.”

The delivery kit is almost ready (maybe it’s still a bit early but I think packing early is better than cramming) — the baby stuff, my stuff, and JM’s. I’m aiming for normal delivery but anything can happen. My OB says she’ll take care of me so I don’t have to worry, and I believe her. Normal or C-Section, I really don’t care, as long as my baby gets out fine and healthy.

And of course, I trust that God will give me a pleasant delivery experience :-)

BABY UPDATE 8: On my 8th month

Two days ago marked the 8th month of my pregnancy. Yes, I’m almost there!

I’m lucky to not have any major pregnancy complication, but I’ve been having “growth spurts” (haha) lately. A pregnant woman should gain around 2-5 lbs per month, but I gained 10 lbs last November and this month…so that’s 10 lbs TWICE, plus the other 2-3 lbs monthly for the rest of the months. You do the math.

I read on pregnancy websites that the average weight gain during pregnancy is within 25-35 lbs…I already gained 31 lbs. So here’s a MENTAL NOTE FOR MYSELF — I should not gain anything more than 4 lbs until I deliver.

We’re hoping for normal delivery — and I’m still keeping my fingers crossed — but the OB warned me that if I won’t keep away from too much carbs, then I might be placed on the table for a CS. Now I should TRY HARDER to not gain anymore weight. So help me God.

BABY UPDATE 7: On my 6th month

Tomorrow marks the 6th month of the little one inside me. He (gender unknown yet so I’m using HE) started moving a month ago, and has been in motion most of the time since then. When he doesn’t move, I’d get worried, but then I realized that he has to sleep and rest too, LOL.

Buchoy gives me foot massage every night — Thank you Hun for that! — before I prop my feet up on pillows as I prepare to sleep. I’m finding it hard to sleep lying flat on my back now. It’s either I’m on my left or right side when I’m in bed — but I think it’s better to always be on your left — with my ever-reliable 4-feet bolster pillow (My hotdog!) I also “you-tubed” pregnancy stretching and exercises and try to do them every morning :-) They keep me away from backaches and body pains!

I’ve also started making lists of the “things-to-pack”, “things-to-buy”, and “things-to-do” as early as now. There’s no harm in preparing early, right?

Buchoy and I are looking forward to seeing our baby again 2 weeks from now (I’m having a 4D Ultrasound). We’ll definitely know the gender by then :-) Can’t wait!

BABY UPDATE 6: Lullabyes

I started playing music for our baby last week, when I was 4 months and a week. Recent online articles say that it has not been proven yet if music has any effect to fetal development, and if the type of music played to the mother’s belly would matter in any way (many believe that classical music by Mozart would make babies smarter), but music makes the mother feel relaxed, which is definitely good for the baby. Playing music for the unborn child is recommended, as long as you do it moderately.

I play music around 10 minutes a day, through speakers that I place beside my belly (not headphones). I keep the volume to a minimum because I read somewhere that amniotic fluid in the uterus is a good conductor of sound, and I don’t want the music to make my baby uncomfortable.

Here’s what my baby’s been listening to since last week. I’ll stick to these 2 for now. I wonder if he/she’ll recognize these when he/she’s out…

Brahm’s Lullabye and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

BABY UPDATE 5: My goodness. You’ve grown!

From a tiny little bean to what already resembles a human being! I know it’s expected — babies grow inside the womb so what’s surprising about it? — but I was amazed, nevertheless. And I’m happy. And excited. And a lot lot lot more.

These were taken via pelvic ultrasound — Yes pelvic! I’m done with trans-Vs! — on my 17th week (that’s 4 months and 1 week). It was just the basic 2D ultrasound, but the sonologist gave us a quick 4D view. The baby seems perfectly fine and has been enjoying his stay inside! (NOTE: I used “his” because as per grammar rules, if you don’t know what the gender is, you use masculine pronouns). He was moving around like crazy, and was covering his face with his hands 90% of the time. Haha. The gender is not predictable yet, so we’ll try again next time. Probably on the 6th month or so =)

In the meantime, I’m continuously trying my best to keep eating healthy. That’s lots of water, fruits and veggies, and a lot of time away from junk food! — Dear Chippy and Kornets, I miss you both so much, but I love my baby more than the two of you, so I can’t be with you for a while. Love, Rhecel

BABY UPDATE 4: How time flies…

Today marks the 12th week of my pregnancy, which is the last week of the 1st trimester. I’m now looking forward to the upcoming new changes and challenges that my baby’s about to give me on the 2nd trimester :-)

Last week, some people (the more observant ones) noticed the tiny belly bump that I now have, I guess it’s already starting to show. For first-time moms though, like me, bumps don’t usually show until the 4th month.

Everything has been memorable for me since Day 1 — the day I missed my period, to the home pregnancy test, to the OB’s first advise, until the spotting and trans-V ultrasounds, and the 2-week bed rest. What made my 1st trimester really special though, is when I heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time, and saw him/her on the LCD at the sonologist’s clinic…so tiny and fragile, but loved nevertheless :-)

I’m lucky enough not to experience morning sickness (and I mean the vomiting and fainting and all), but recently, I’ve been having nausea and shortness of breath which happens anytime of the day, and more specially when I’m in enclosed spaces. I looked it up and saw that it’s normal because the internal organs are finding new positions to give way to the growing uterus, and sometimes they push to the diaphragm, making the mother short of breath. Also, the lungs don’t expand like they normally do when you inhale, so you get a smaller amount of air in when you’re pregnant. The digestive system gets a little messed up too — one day you’re constipated, but the next day you got LBM! On top of that, blood circulation gets a little slower when you’re pregnant, which also explains why pregnant women are always sleepy and lazy :-P I always have fun finding things on the internet, reading articles, watching pregnancy and birth videos, and bugging friends who already have kids (special thanks goes to Mami Joy, ang bilis nya mag-reply pag nangungulit ako haha!). So far, I’ve learned a lot from this experience.

Here’s a message for our little one — Hi Baby, We’re now starting to find articles on the internet that will help us take care of you as you come early next year :-D In the meantime, hold on and keep on growing, I promise to give you all YOUR cravings like french fries, pancakes, sinigang na bangus belly, and star apple (although we can’t find this yet, sa summer pa yata haay). We love you so much, and I hope you’ll be good when you’re out! xoxo Mama and Daddy (nagbubunong-braso pa kami kung Mama-Papa or Mommy-Daddy)

BABY UPDATE 3: Our little bean

I know it’s still too early to be excited (I’m only 2 months on the way), but you can’t blame a first-time mom for being ecstatic when she sees her child for the first time. And as I write this, I still can’t believe that there’s another heart that beats inside me, other than my own. When the sonologist showed a tiny, blurred, bean-like “object” in my uterus, I saw something in it that seems to be throbbing. She smiled and said “There’s our baby!”, and told me that the “blurred bean” is my baby with his/her fully-functional heart, then she immediately turned up the volume of the speakers. When I heard the “drumming sound” (yeah, that fast! 150 beats per minute) that’s when I felt something that completely overwhelmed me. It’s a feeling that no one else could understand, other than women who have been blessed with their own child. I’m grateful for being given the chance to experience this miracle.

Ok, maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones kicking in (haha), I’m starting to get emotional and all, but yes, “I am happy” is definitely an understatement! It’s been 2 weeks of paranoia and emotional stress. I never stopped thinking about my baby since my 1st ultrasound, in which no sign of a baby was seen. There was just a small sac in the uterus that tells “something” must be in there. This 2nd attempt to see him/her made all my fears go away. I thank God for setting me free from my anxiety (I know it’s bad to worry too much, but I can’t help it).

Anyway, I had my 2nd TransV ultrasound at “In My Womb” @ Megamall. Highly recommended — faaarr better than my 1st TransV!

BABY UPDATE 2: Where’s my baby?

It’s my 6th week (1 month and a half) of sensitive pregnancy. I hope everything will get better after my 1st trimester. I had to go through a trans-V ultrasound a few days ago because I had spotting. The ultrasound is to make sure that my baby is safe after the bleeding. The Sonologist can’t see him/her yet though =( We’re trying again on my 2nd month. Hopefully he/she shows up by then. I want to see even just the tiniest sign of him/her! I just want to be sure that my baby’s still safe inside me. For now, there’s additional medication, and I was required at least 2 weeks of bed rest. I’m glad my bosses are understanding enough to let me take time off work for a while.

The black hole that you see on the ultrasound is a zoomed version of a 1-cm (diameter) sac where my baby is. He/she is still too small at this point. My OB assured me that I should not worry about it being too small, it’s still too early anyway. And I should not worry about anything at all! Physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion affect the baby. The 1st trimester is very important for the baby’s development so I should be really careful. The risk is bigger because I have “low uterus”, which is prone to spontaneous abortion/miscarriage.
By the way, it was my first time to have a trans-V ultrasound (you should get what “V” means!) The gadget looks like a huge electric toothbrush that gets stuck inside you. The insertion was a little uncomfortable, but not painful, but when the Sonologist started moving the gadget inside me, I almost asked her to stop! It was like she’s ripping off my insides. Haha. Oh well, I had to do it for the baby so, there you go. I guess this is the “moms-will-do-ANYTHING-for-their-baby” kind of thing =) I just tried my best to keep my focus and listen to her as she explains what is displayed on the monitor.

I’m having another trans-V in 2 weeks. I’m really looking forward to seeing him/her for the first time. Some friends have been telling me that trans-V ultrasound is not supposed to be painful. Hmm I guess I’ll try a different Sonologist :-P My OB doesn’t mind, she told me I can have the ultrasound anywhere I want. I might try “In My Womb” at Mega. This one’s got good review =)

BABY UPDATE 1: This is it!

Since last week, there are only two things that i want to do: EAT and SLEEP. I can’t sleep anytime I want though, because I have to work. Yung kain ang ‘hataw’ haha. Breakfast-snack-lunch-snack-snack-dinner-snack. Aside from gutom lagi at antok lagi, hilo rin ako lagi, but it’s tolerable (so far). Parking lot to our building’s elevator, sobrang hingal na ako. No morning sickness yet (it’s too early for that, or sana wala talaga akong ganun).

Finally, our little miracle is coming! We were in shock/denial, until my OB confirmed yesterday. I’m having him/her March of 2010! Tentative due date is March 11… 4 days after our 1st wedding anniversary!

Sabi ni jm, excited na daw sya mag 9 months, kung pede lang daw skip na yun 1-8 months. Sabi ko ndi pa ata kami ready mag-alaga ng baby, we need time to prepare. So we decided cge, skip na lang din yung baby stage, sana 29 yrs old na sya paglabas wahaha!

I just remembered how I craved to death last week for sinigang na bangus belly and red ribbon black forest (I didn’t know yet that I was pregnant). Pero coincidence lang cguro, I’m not sure kung totoo na nagcracrave talaga because of pregnancy.

Anyway, I’ll keep on blogging about our baby, as he/she grows inside me. JM and I are so thankful for this blessing :-)

Positive

Two lines means Positive. Yes!!! We’re having a BABY!  \m/